![]() They will, at times, choose to silence a partner with violence rather than witness emotional vulnerability. Many men never want to feel helpless or vulnerable. Usually, partners who are unable to respond compassionately when hearing us speak our pain, whether they understand it or not, are unable to listen because that expressed hurt triggers their own feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. It is emotionally devastating when the partners we have chosen will not listen. “Those of us who were wounded in childhood often were shamed and humiliated when we expressed hurt. Before we discuss some tips on listening empathetically, here is a passage from her book that discusses the importance of listening in relationships and why we may sometimes experience a lack of empathic listening: In her book, All About Love: New Visions, bell hooks highlights empathic listening as a primary tenet for cultivating love. You sense, you intuit, you feel” (Covey, 1989). You use your right brain as well as your left. ![]() Covey says, “In empathetic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also, and more importantly, listen with your eyes and your heart. Level 5: Listening to the speaker with empathyĬovey explains that we shouldn’t just listen with our ears or try to understand the logic of what the speaker is saying. ![]()
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